The Place We Sit

You live at the place you sit
You love at the place you sit
You die at the place you sit

Seasons, they change
We talk of the Rising sun
We talk of the Rising moon
The Rain of dreams
Soaking the reality
With futility, rewards and hopes
Soaking the thirsty ambitions
Silent yet Effective

We talk of the Wind swirling colors around
Spirals of Red around us
Streaks of Blue
Dollops of Green
Spots of Black
Beauty of human emotions
Color coded for simplicity

We paint our world
Mountains and the Seas
Around the place we sit.

We write our world
Stream of precise words
Against the Walls of Air
Around the place we sit.

We build in dreams
Mighty palaces of unexplained desires
Outside the Walls of Air
Staying at the place we sit.

We may live at the place we sit.
We may love at the place we sit
We may die at the place we sit.

But a step
Outside the Walls of Air
Can mean the deepest Ecstasy
Can mean the most pleasurable Orgasm
Can mean the Freedom of the Skies
Can mean the frankness of a Smile
And the taste of Purest Love

A Hand,
Gentle push against the Walls of Air,
And they are no more.
:)

The Moonlit Simplicity

Standing alone under a night sky on a moonlit terrace..

Mind speaks when it wants to, where it wants to and the way it wants to.

Mine spoke to the Moon tonight.

Through my eyes.. through the glares, bitter smiles and momentary tears.

Through the Silence.. we spoke of the Light.

Horizon scattered with man-made lights, none so truthful as the stars in the sky.

Wind ripped at my clothes, with intensity of One whose path can't be altered.

Moon shone through the clouds with sincerity of One whose light can't be dimmed by the fluidity of darkness.

With whispers of the trees asleep, I felt the Moon come alive.

Alive through its Light.

Death comes with passing of a Soul..

With passing of a Light which is dear.

Life comes with staying through the Night,

Awaiting the Dawn.

Death-

A warm hug taken away,

A loving smile gone forever,

Across the line, with the Crow.

Tears speak of the Day to come

And Life without that one heartbeat.

Tears speak of the Night dying,

Tears speak of the Wind blowing,

They speak of Change, quite against the Will.

A numb heart Lives through it all,

Desperately trying to turn back the time.

A numb heart beats through it all.

Moon stays up.. waiting.

It stays up.. listening.

It gives Light all through our Night

Reminding us of our Dawn.

Everything seemed so much simpler up there on the terrace.. which indeed got jumbled up in my mind, here in my room.

The reason why we live and the reasons we have to face death-
The Moonlit Simplicity of it all was eye-opening.

Love bridges gaps.. yet the parallel roads always remain parallel.

Parallel lives.. where one abruptly ends, others carry on.

Yet we need Love for the Light, which makes our parallel paths brighter.

The Crow comes when it has to.

In the meanwhile-

We Love.

Scribbles

Someone has rightly said- Scribble down stuff so that you learn to scribble down stuff.

I have no idea what prompted the above personality to make this highly logical statement public. Crap, I say, should be pushed into the furthest depths of our minds.
Anyways- we can, conveniently, leave aside the fact that the mentioned personality is none other royalty than me; and progress to more comfortable issues at hand.
Like- reading this post! Yay! :P

My eyes, though Myopic, stay open and look at the world with curiosity.
My eyes, though covered with 'goggles', look at the various colors of insanity around.
My eyes, though armed with eyelashes and heavy specs, need to close down when dust finds its way into them.
And chemicals in my brain trade places, the Rinkals.. ahem.. the 'wrinkles' in my brain shift around a bit and help form a new memory.
A memory, immortalizing, the action of noble craziness that has passed my nobler eye.

Crazy actions are actions of God. Why?
Because they are not the actions of Satan. :P
Alright.. pushing the crap way behind...

Sparrow Saga:
Our house entertains a family of house sparrows one after another. They are sensible enough to come one by one and that ensures we get no squabbling between sparrow neighbors. One such sparrow found it fit to lay eggs behind the Speaker System. Every night the male sparrow made sure he is out of the house, tucked away in some dark foliage. The female one flew around the house till it was dark inside too.
Maybe this affected her tiny brain or she was just a nasty little creature- but she developed one weird habit. She started offering us her shit.
Now was it with an intention of giving us a gift for our hospitality?
Or was it just her method of cleaning up her nest?
Whatever... she, without fail, picked up a bunch of her droppings from her nest in her BEAK and neatly flew down on our carpet. Then, she actually KEPT the droppings (usually greyish brown, occasionally beige) on our carpet and flew around doing her errands. That cheeky bird KEPT droppings everyday on our carpet. Everyday. Without fail. Now this is some fat-headed activity or what?

Tale of a Genius Builder/Contractor/that bloke who digs up the roads!:
Come monsoon and you can tell it by the cloudy skies.
Come monsoon and you can tell it by the dug-up road outside Kalyan (E) rail-station.
Precisely a year ago, some bird-brained fella (who may be any of the above mentioned royalties) thought it fit to uproot all the trees in a certain plot of land and dig it all up.
This was a week before monsoon.
So when the rains came, the plot of land was prepared to be a BIG pain in the arse.
It was ensured that we'll have a lousy monsoon full of muddy, slushy treks everyday to the station. During the summer, we had a tar road. During monsoon, some d***-heads covered it all with MUD. We said alright, may God pretend to forget them. :P
Now, again in Summer'09, we had a good tar road.
Again- in Monsoon'09, preparations were underway since last two weeks in full gusto! Truckloads of mud was dumped on the suffering tar road.
Yes dear people, they have successfully made sure that the muddy, slushy path will make its presence felt during this monsoon.
What kind of stupidity is this?
Can't they push these whims under the non-existent depths of their non-existent minds?
Maybe the non-existence is the problem... but the heck!
How thick can they get?!

Delta Force (PC Game):
Terrorists are all over the place. They stand on pre-determined spots, NEVER move even if their comrade gets shot in the head. They stand there.. waiting to be killed.
How to kill them?
Very easy. Shoot them wherever you want. In the leg, in the groin or if you want to- in the head. They die with one bullet. Shoot them in the toes, they will die.
Motivation to Die, people.
You are gifted with a (gun) sniper cum semi-auto with a burst option too. You carry two bags of dynamite, 10 grenades. You can still climb up a mountain in no time and can climb a ruddy Pyramid right up to it's tip too! :D
You can kill from a distance of your choice while terrorists just stand there holding their silly rifles. They can't hit you unless you're a few meters away from them. Because they are trained to hit... er, nothing. They can't hit nothing from more than 10 meters away.
Also, you need to take minimum 10 bullets to die, mind you.
And then, even if you are, say, 4 meters away from an enemy, he will just stand there waiting, pointing the gun at you. He gives you time to shoot in his hair. And when you do, he dies.
Challenging game, yes sir.

Counter Strike (Another freakin' game):
The enemy can't wait to kill you. That's about it. :)

'Green Day' Interview on VH1:
What is 'Green Day'? For you dunderheads who got it right- it is a punk rock band. :P
Recently saw the vocalist giving a highly intellectual interview on television. He 'you know' spoke precious little 'you know' other than 'you know' the quoted words but 'you know' whatever he 'you know' spoke was pretty 'you know' good.
All I got is 'you know' they have a 'you know' mountain to climb and they are 'you know' coming out with a brand new 'you know' album! Yay!
It is called 21st Century 'you know' Breakdown.
Yeah mate, I know.
:P

Well fellas, this is it for now.
You keep grinning all around and pass me a couple of Lindts whenever you do or not feel like it.
:)

Melancholies and Me

Here I am again.
This post is NOT a result of deep thinking.
This post is NOT a result of lack of thinking.
This post is NOT a result of Constructive Intervals in studying.
It is more like- Feeling stuck.
I'm ruddy feeling stuck!
Like a thread of spinach between my 5 and 6. (For you 3 dentists who'll be reading this)

What do I do when I'm bored, feeling stagnant and there is no output on the work front?
I put on Pink Floyd, sit on my chair and start typing.
The course books lie forgotten on the bed and since it's usually night-time, the pigeons (thankfully for them) are silent too. That saves me a couple of murders. (Those fools are never alone)

I am an Engineering student.
- A student of technology with inclinations towards extracurricular activities which involve almost everything except sports. Perfectly alright.
- A student of technology who can think logically, has analytical abilities and can put own matters to-the-point. Tend to become dreamy and poetic too. Perfectly alright.
- A student of technology with disrespect for pointless authority and brainless slogging. Certain deep-rooted habits thanks to which he does put off studying simply because it does not interest him. Now that's not perfectly alright and here the problems start creeping in.

I'll be frank.
I don't know why I took up Engineering.

Not that it's not interesting, it is. It is interesting because I understand it. Why certain materials are chosen, why we expect machines to work in a certain manner and how can we combine two machines to create an altogether new one. It is fun. :)

Is it because I'm failing to keep up with the marks?
Can failure be a trigger for this boredom? That means I'm running away from the situation. Failure to keep up means failure to succeed and that can only mean lack of efforts. This because I just give up what I'm doing when I'm bored. Like in this very case.
I'm writing crap when I could be studying Cathode Ray Oscilloscopes.

Is it because I would have had better academic performance in some other career line?
Again- this is running away. :P
I tried getting in elsewhere and as stars would have it- I was not able to.. thanks to my awful luck. Came along Engineering with its swagger.
I may say parents pressurized me indirectly... I may say it was my decision while parental units merely laid out the facts in front of me.

Point is-
I'm in the field and even if I can still get out, I won't goddamnit!
I did agree to take up this course whatever may be the reason. It was my decision.
I have no idea whether the pressure existed or not.. but I was never forced.
And if I'm in a soup, it's only because of me.
And getting out is my job. *firm jaw*

Failure on any front is bad. It makes the whole world look sick.
Other reasons for my dark melancholies tonight-
- No life outside the house. Exams. Boredom. My dirt.
- Certain things heading nowhere. No direction. Pointlessness. Loathe it.
- No cycling. No swimming. No treks.

I just wish I had more time and more options. To try out stuff.
I may be slow on some fronts but then.. I know what I'm good at.
I feel lonely when I think of reactions to come.
I feel lonely even though there are no expectations... just a mild sense of duty.
I feel lonely because the simplest job seems the toughest for me.

I hate the ties we have with the closest people in our lives... because then we are not the only ones to feel the ripples.
I take the plunge, they feel the ripples too.
I risk the pain, they feel it too.
I bite the dust, they get the bitter taste too.
Because they love me.

Be a support system. Feed a sapling. Give it a Greenhouse.
Don't feel sad when it dies.
It grows again because it takes time to figure out what's the best light to live in.

Talk of a selfish lad?
Talk of a lazy slacker?
Talk of a procrastinator?
Talk of a human in denial mode?
Talk of a person who's making excuses?
Talk of an Individual?
Maybe... call it what you want to. In any case, it's Me.

I'm surprised at what the write-up turned out to be in the end. The thoughts tumbled out and I know the three people who know me best are going to understand what it means.
I'm learning. I'm growing up. I'm afraid it has to be against the usual norms.

Love you, family.

Those Doggy Eyes

I was little... and in Aurangabad at my Mama's place.
He had recently bought two pups and I was all excited on seeing them.
We love dogs.. the entire family. :)
One was a jet-black Labrador... a regal fellow with an apt name- Commander.
The other was an Alsatian and joyful in every sense- Bruno.

I loved them both. Commander somehow was serene and seemed more intelligent. He always found himself the best place to sit, best place to sleep and Bruno never used to mind.
Both were dogs and both were pretty fun to be around with.
I loved their eyes... full of trust and frank curiosity.
And little pink tongues which got larger with months. :)

Commander died soon after.
His death was a nasty shock.
It was on the day we were leaving Aurangabad for my place..
He was sitting in the living room... and was slightly ill..
I remember holding the Black Lab's head in my hands, looking in those dark brown eyes and telling him firmly to get better. I had told him that I wanted to see him running around the next time I visit the place.
He had breathed heavily on my hands.. and a tender lick on my palms.
He died 15 minutes after we left.
I cried myself to sleep that night.

Bruno lived to a ripe old age and every time I think of him, I can't help but smile.
He was such a lovable and adorable old thing! :)
He was always around almost since long as I can remember.
He succumbed to a long illness today afternoon...

When Bingo (an Alsatian, the one before these two) had passed away, I don't even remember why. But I used to see his face in the clouds above and always used to cry to myself.
Now, when I heard of Bruno, I found myself staring at the green trees and crying to myself again.
I missed all the time I had with him... and thought how time changed us all.. how time took away Bruno and my child-like innocence of the yesteryear too..
I thought of all his antics and smiled.
I smiled then... with tears in my eyes.

I was with Bruno and Ishan, my crazy cousin. :)
We were having grapes and Bruno was enthusiastic as ever. I distracted the mutt with one grape while Ishan threw another in his gaping mouth. His confusion was worth seeing.
hahaha! That was our Bruno in his element.

The way he ran hysterically when in an open ground. I and Ishan let him loose and ran like crazy. He used to join us for sometime.. then made up his little mind and set off sniffing for adventures. And followed then a wild chase! :D
Trick: Run in an exactly opposite direction. Bruno will follow with full pace thinking you're up to something and then comes the time to grab him! The trick used to work.. with Bruno feeling stupid. :) Loved him!

Then in the veranda of my Mama's place, Bruno's house.
I will always miss Bruno standing on his hind legs, looking for a wet lick and lots of pats, with his mouth open and tongue hanging out. His ears tightly stretched back, he looked so damn sweet, he never failed to make us hug him.
It always looked like he was grinning wide... always.

The way he used to bark and the way he used to run. :D
He barked at people who must have seen him since he was a pup! He had his reasons.
He never barked at cats.. at least not when I was around him.
And, for his own reasons, he took an instant liking to my bro-in-law, who was a total stranger! :D

He used to run as if he is chasing the wind! Ears again pulled back and a run which resembled a peaceful trot.. only at high speed. He always looked crooked while running but then, Bruno was one unique dawg! :D

I loved to look into his eyes.
Holding his head in my hands, I used to look deep into them and speak.
Sometimes he used to listen.. sometimes he lost interest and started licking my nose. :P
Loved him.

He was 'Wedoba Brunoba'. :)
Here- 'Weda' is a lovingly used term for his doggy stupidity. :)

I feel sorry for the times I'd met him recently. He was old and a new Lab pup was running around in the house. Scooby, as we called him, was a joyful little thing too.. moreover a brat.
Bruno used to stay in his kennel whenever I visited the place.
Silent and gazing listlessly.
I talked to him but he never showed any real interest.
I regret that I found myself visiting him less frequently too.
Will I ignore the people I love if they're ill and not in the mood to play around?
But I did ignore Bruno.
I forgot that he is not made to just play and bark around.
He was ill and whether he understood or not, I should have just stayed there with him.
So what if he ain't licking me? I loved him and he did love me too.
An old dog's love, it was.

I'll miss his barks and his licks.
I'll miss how messily he used to have his food.
I'll miss his pulls on the leash.
I'll miss his cocked up ears.
I'll miss his impatience... I'll miss his wagging tail.

Most of all, I'll miss his eyes... his brown doggy eyes.
Love you Bruno.
:)

Eleven

Why Eleven? What is Eleven?
How do you write Eleven?
Two vertical, parallel lines which start from the same base line... having no other relation whatsoever.
Eleven is a beginning of a new Decade after the End which is Ten.
So many meanings hidden in the number.
Or rather- so many things which can be analyzed once the wheels of thought are set in motion...

I and the girl (I used to date) planned a meet one day.
It was, perhaps, supposed to show ourselves that the hatchet has been well and truly buried.

I'd suggested a comfortable Coffee bar. She suggested the railway station.
She had her way because she had her reasons. The same reasons.
Reasons which held no logic to me, as always.

The platform was dusty, the platform was dark and empty.
She stood there sipping a cold drink as I walked towards her...
She looked just like she had looked a year back... the last time I'd seen her.
Her dark eyes spoke volumes as they always did, but hid mysteries.
Her smile, for some comprehensible reason, failing to melt my heart.
But it was sweet nonetheless.

We spoke of nothing in particular.
Just about random things going on in our lives and the new individuals we are with now.
It all seemed normal.
Was this a start to a new relationship as friends?
They do sing past lovers can become the best of friends.

Er... no. Nothing of the sort.
We did part like pals.
But soon, we argued again and things fell back into place.
Nothing had changed.
I still saw her as a 'Dimwit' while she believed I'm 'Weak'.
We have not talked since then... and don't even intend to.
No regrets.

For the first time- the stark reality of the situation struck me.
We were two individuals who saw no reason to stay in touch with each other.
Two humans whose lives would go on... on parallel tracks.
But who saw no reason to bridge whatever gap they had created.

Why 'Eleven' and 'Parallel'?
Why not a 'Y' shape which so clearly suggests separation after being together?

• Because she won't ever be inaccessible. We will always have common friends and be always within reach. Only that- we are not interested.
• Because we ended a thing which can be started on a whole new note. The choice was ours.
• Because our lives were always parallel... but we had decided to bridge it. We had decided to hold hands over the gap dividing us. Now- we had let go.
  

Two completely different persons.
That evening I realized what it feels to meet a person who was once loved dearly... and how the things have drastically changed since then.

Is it really possible that a human can feel no need for another human he has known?
Man is a social animal for all we know.

Yes, it is.
It is with our emotions that we create illusions which suggest that our lives are not parallel.
It is with emotions that we ignore the practical facts needed to solve a situation.
It is with emotions that we are often misled.
Our lives are parallel indeed.
Which either makes them so easy to live or so hard to understand.

People with whom to hold hands... people at whom to smile across the boundaries... but you can't ever pull them on your path.
We all exist in our parallel lives... living with everyone but alone.
Like I've said- We Shit Alone ;)

It ain't bad to assume stuff if it makes it easier for you to live with stuff.
But Illusions can hurt.
It is up to you to understand the difference between an Illusion and Reality.
:)

My Black Cup

This post is for a pal who's broadening her horizon of coffee-makers. No sarcasm- I appreciate her courage to try new tastes... and accept them. Guess she'll be the only one to understand what I mean.
:)

Someone wanted to make me a cuppa coffee that morning.
I refused the offer.
They insisted.
I said- "Okay."
The coffee was milky... unlike the way I like it.
It came in one of their white cups.
Not in my Black one.
I did not like it.
Yet I took it.
It did not go down well.

The following morning came the same offer.
Again I refused.
They insisted.
I stood my ground.
We argued.
I gave in and warned them about the milk.
The coffee was sweet... unlike the way I like it.
It came in a white cup again, not in my Black.
I did not like it.
Yet I sipped at it.
It failed to go down well.

The third morning I was woken up again.
I was forced to have coffee being made for me.
In a white cup, not in my Black.
It was bitter.
Not the way I love it.
I threw it down the drain.

The fourth dawn I lay awake.
The sun rose.
I went and made my own coffee.
I chose my Black cup.
Not one of their white ones...
Just the right amount of milk and water.
Just the right amount of sugar.
Just the right amount of coffee beans.
Just the right aroma reviving my senses.

I made them take it.
They did not like it.
It did not go down well with them.
But it did go down well with me.

Because it was the way I love it.
Because that's the way my taste-buds love it.
It was the way I live.
Not the way they live.

Life is a cuppa coffee.
Make it the way you like it.

Or just live with the way they make it.
:)